


How Much for the Fedora

by teprometo



Category: Bandom
Genre: Exhibitionism, Gift Fic, Masturbation, Other, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 19:53:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teprometo/pseuds/teprometo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Mraz combines his love of himself, hats, and making other people uncomfortable into one event.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Much for the Fedora

**Author's Note:**

  * For [krw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/krw/gifts).



> This is a gift for Nic. [This is proof that he requested this ridiculous thing.](http://teprometo.livejournal.com/86248.html?thread=589800#t589800) I do not stand by this piece of crack at all. I am just a kind person who gives people what they really want for Christmas.
> 
> I seem to have earned the distinguished honor of posting the first Jason Mraz fic to AO3. O.o
> 
> Also, be sure to check out analise010's reading linked at the end of the fic. She made awesome cover art and everything. ♥

It started with leaving his blinds open, the uncovered window making him feel exposed and alive, even if only the avocados could see him. The rush soon wore off, so he moved on to Chat Roulette, which kept him interested for a week or so, countless eyes on his fisted cock. But the more masturbating men he saw, the more he realized that people on Chat Roulette expected to see dick, so he tired of it and wanted a bigger payoff.

That’s when he discovered public restrooms. It was enough at first to just sit in the stall listening to people whisper about the slick, wet noises of his lubed hand on himself and his indiscreet whimpering. When the excitement of that wore off after a couple months, he began choosing single-stall restrooms, sitting on the toilet and spreading his legs, conveniently forgetting to lock the door and acting surprised when people walked in. That kept him satisfied for a full year. But now he needed more—more public, more exposure, more guaranteed reactions.

That’s how he ended up here, in his very favorite hat store, picking out the finest of fedoras and planning his movements. He couldn’t be caught too early. He’d have to maneuver this just right. He crept over to the mirror and carefully unzipped, pulling out his dick and hiding it behind the hat. He was already hard in anticipation of his largest exhibition yet. The line at the cash register was long, full of hat connoisseurs hoping to add to their collections. Jason queued up behind them and put his plan into action.

He was subtle at first, sliding one hand beneath the fedora, running his fingertips along his length, but as the queue moved forward and people wore their new hats out of the store, he couldn’t help himself. Jason began fucking his hand in earnest, drawing startled gasps from the people next to him in line. The queue thinned as people launched themselves out of the store.

Jason had never been so aroused in his life, the appalled reactions and fleeing making him feel powerful. The timing was perfect. Just as he approached the counter to make his purchase, the young well-hatted sales attendant punching numbers into her phone, he came. He stood still, enjoying the spectacle he’d made, while the attendant whispered furiously to what Jason assumed was her manager about a man touching himself in the store. When the moment was over, he threw the spunk-filled hat down on the counter and tucked himself into his pants.

“How much for the fedora?” he said.

The sales attendant didn’t answer.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] How Much for the Fedora?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/623127) by [Readbyanalise010](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Readbyanalise010/pseuds/Readbyanalise010)
  * [[Podfic] How Much for the Fedora](https://archiveofourown.org/works/715507) by [teprometo (te_prometo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/te_prometo/pseuds/teprometo)




End file.
